Paying attention

Communication isn't easy, even one on one. Conversations can get interrupted, extraneous noises can be distracting, we can be preoccupied. Author Jim Henderson observes that one of the best ways we have of sharing Christian concern is by carefully paying attention to others. Sounds easy, but it's not.

I find it increasingly difficult to hear well on the telephone, and am often embarrassed that I can't follow the conversation when there is a group of four or so at the restaurant. If my wife speaks to me from the kitchen, and the sink faucet is running, I can't hear what she's saying. This, I realize, is one of the effects of aging for some of us,and I do have a hearing aid which helps. But I also am aware that listening is as challenging as hearing, and that when I listen intently, I tend to hear better! Sometimes I don't, but usually I do. So at least some of the time it's a matter of paying attention, really.

Investing our time and engaging our minds with the other person is what listening is about. Listening involves watching as well as hearing, looking for clues in body language and facial expressions, noticing not simply what is said but the way it may be said. This is a commitment on our part. It's much easier to keep thinking about what we already have on our minds, or pushing on to the next item on the to-do list. But doing that may result in our missing an opportunity that may not come again.